The pigeon landed on Hannah's gloved hand. She removed the tiny band around its ankle, fed it a crust of bread and then set it free. She hated caging pigeons, even for the few minutes it would take to scribble down a reply. They were better off free, just like she was.
Hannah unrolled the slip of paper and quickly decoded it.
SERVANT'S SITTING ROOM IN USE
FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM NOW
PLEASE COME HOME
A
It was just as well, then, that she hadn't kept the pigeon for a reply. She wasn't ready to go home yet, and she couldn't explain why, not via pigeon.
"Nolan!" she called. "Adjust the sails to catch that wind. We're headed out to sea."
*****
The crew was rather an odd one. Benjamin was the only one who looked like a pirate. He was rather old, had a peg leg, and was missing a few teeth. Out of all of them, however, he was the least pirate-like and, rather than raiding and pillaging, preferred to sit in his cabin and knit or tell hyperbolic stories about his own bravery. Hannah wasn't really sure why they kept him around, but she couldn't think of a good enough reason to get rid of him, either.
Nolan was the good-looking one of the bunch. Hannah still was uncertain how he could climb down from the rigging without one curly brown hair out of place. Nolan was theoretically the captain, but he wasn't especially fond of talking or doing anything interesting, whereas Hannah actually had plans and gave orders despite lacking any titled position.
Mary was Nolan's younger sister, though she'd sort of adopted the rest of them. She was one of the sweetest, kindest people Hannah had ever met, and her presence helped keep her sane. She had a habit of calming people down and was rather good at diffusing tension.
Ramona and Leonard were twins with slight Sensitive tendencies. Their talent wasn't something Hannah could quite classify as magic, exactly, but it was certainly unusual, and certainly came in handy. Ramona, like Hannah, generally dressed like a man.
Hamish was the Scottish one, and also the most bloodthirsty. Robert was the first mate, and the one who challenged Hannah's authority. Peter was the small one, and probably the youngest besides Mary (he refused to give his age). James was the cook.
They were happy, mostly. Nolan worried about his little sister, and the fact that she really wasn't getting a proper lady's education (Hannah and Ramona tried, on occasion, to remedy that, but neither was among the most lady-like of people). Robert and Hannah clashed, sometimes to the point where they wouldn't speak to each other for days, and Nolan and Mary tried to patch things up. Leonard twisted his ankle once, and Benjamin broke a knitting needle.
Then, of course, there were the raids and sea-battles and that sort of thing.
It was easy to forget sometimes...
When Hannah chose to lie to herself, that is.
*****
Friday, July 10, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
I wrote this a while ago and I think it's called Eileen, but I'm not sure
Fabi S. strides briskly down the sidewalk, the autumn wind making her nose turn bright pink. It seems to jump at any excuse to turn bright pink, she notes sourly, heat or cold, sun, rain or wind, various emotions...
Emotions.
They're extremely confusing and make everything needlessly difficult, yet where would she be without them? Who would she be without them?
Fabi turns and descends a flight of concrete steps, then stops at the Abbington Park & Ride, Bay 6. She stands absolutely still and avoids making eye contact with the various college students and business people around her.
After about half an hour, the bus pulls up. She scans her pass, then proceeds to one of the sideways-facing seats near the rear exit (her usual spot to sit). As she's putting her bus pass back in her wallet, a young, dark-haired woman sits next to her.
A whisper: "Hey, Audrey."
Only years of training cause her not to show how startled she is. She's gone back to her old look. Anyway, Audrey is dead. She glances around, looking for whoever the woman is speaking to.
"I can call you Mireille, if you'd prefer..." The woman's voice is even quieter than before.
The truth has always been one of her worst fears. Like usual, she runs.
"I'm sorry, are you talking to me? If so, you've got the wrong person."
The dark-haired woman shakes her head. "I'm sorry..."
Her apology clearly conveys that she knows. She's not sorry for her mistake. She knows it wasn't a mistake. She knows that Mireille Cavendish went on to become Audrey Nielsen. She might know about Fabi, too.
Fabi keeps her face calm, but as she speaks, her voice cracks. "It's...it's alright. I'm often mistaken for people. Aubrey's a new one, though." She forces out a laugh. "Usually I'm mistaken for someone called Katie. I guess I'm just sort of average-looking."
"If you say so."
No.
That's not how things work.
She's ordinary, boring. She blends into the background. She only leaves an impression on people who take the time to get to know her. People she's barely met don't do this.
She's on the outside, because that's the way it has to be.
She can't take it.
The bus stops, and she hurries to get off. She's so nervous, she completely misses the woman's hand brushing against the outside pocket of her purse.
Emotions.
They're extremely confusing and make everything needlessly difficult, yet where would she be without them? Who would she be without them?
Fabi turns and descends a flight of concrete steps, then stops at the Abbington Park & Ride, Bay 6. She stands absolutely still and avoids making eye contact with the various college students and business people around her.
After about half an hour, the bus pulls up. She scans her pass, then proceeds to one of the sideways-facing seats near the rear exit (her usual spot to sit). As she's putting her bus pass back in her wallet, a young, dark-haired woman sits next to her.
A whisper: "Hey, Audrey."
Only years of training cause her not to show how startled she is. She's gone back to her old look. Anyway, Audrey is dead. She glances around, looking for whoever the woman is speaking to.
"I can call you Mireille, if you'd prefer..." The woman's voice is even quieter than before.
The truth has always been one of her worst fears. Like usual, she runs.
"I'm sorry, are you talking to me? If so, you've got the wrong person."
The dark-haired woman shakes her head. "I'm sorry..."
Her apology clearly conveys that she knows. She's not sorry for her mistake. She knows it wasn't a mistake. She knows that Mireille Cavendish went on to become Audrey Nielsen. She might know about Fabi, too.
Fabi keeps her face calm, but as she speaks, her voice cracks. "It's...it's alright. I'm often mistaken for people. Aubrey's a new one, though." She forces out a laugh. "Usually I'm mistaken for someone called Katie. I guess I'm just sort of average-looking."
"If you say so."
No.
That's not how things work.
She's ordinary, boring. She blends into the background. She only leaves an impression on people who take the time to get to know her. People she's barely met don't do this.
She's on the outside, because that's the way it has to be.
She can't take it.
The bus stops, and she hurries to get off. She's so nervous, she completely misses the woman's hand brushing against the outside pocket of her purse.
She doesn't notice the note until later, much later, but by then it's too late, of course. Eileen exits the bus a few stops later, the tiny strip of paper now in the pocket of her jacket.
Monday, March 9, 2015
🌹
...
If any of you, ever again, tell me I don't care, I will hate you for about three and a half seconds and then probably cry a lot.
In case you were wondering.
If any of you, ever again, tell me I don't care, I will hate you for about three and a half seconds and then probably cry a lot.
In case you were wondering.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Progress: a poem and a dedication
Once upon a time, there was a man or woman
That man or woman had an idea, a new perspective
It went against everything the "experts" took for granted
It was absolutely ingenious, and once he or she had spoken
It made sense
Deep in the back
Of the experts' minds
But it also contradicted
The reality they had spent
Most of their lives constructing
Rather than admit they were wrong
They decided to kill the man or woman
Hoping that somehow, the idea would die too
But of course it didn't. The truth would come out
Albeit decades, centuries after the man or woman died
Even if
It wasn't
That extreme
If they didn't kill
The forward-thinker
They would ridicule them
Rather than open their eyes
Is this what you call "progress?"
I dedicate this page to the new ideas
The ones we've found, the ones shot down
And all brilliant the ideas yet to be discovered
I dedicate this page to listening, not simply hearing
I dedicate this page to seeing the world with open eyes
I dedicate this page to all those people who feel like they're
Just sitting there quietly in the corner while the world moves on
To those people who are talking when the world doesn't want to hear
To everyone who's taken the time, found someone with a story and listened
I dedicate this page to the problems that are not always acknowledged
And to the few individuals who make efforts to find their solutions
I dedicate this page to those who haven't yet given up
Even though everything seems hopeless, futile
I dedicate this page to the people
Who are treated like problems
Waiting to be fixed
When they're
Perfect
I dedicate this page to the truth. We'll know it someday
I dedicate this page to the solution and the people
Who come closer and closer to finding it
I dedicate this page to the people
Who didn't make it to today
And to those who did
You can do it
I dedicate this page to making it through
I dedicate this page to the tunnel
But also to the light
At the end
That man or woman had an idea, a new perspective
It went against everything the "experts" took for granted
It was absolutely ingenious, and once he or she had spoken
It made sense
Deep in the back
Of the experts' minds
But it also contradicted
The reality they had spent
Most of their lives constructing
Rather than admit they were wrong
They decided to kill the man or woman
Hoping that somehow, the idea would die too
But of course it didn't. The truth would come out
Albeit decades, centuries after the man or woman died
Even if
It wasn't
That extreme
If they didn't kill
The forward-thinker
They would ridicule them
Rather than open their eyes
Is this what you call "progress?"
I dedicate this page to the new ideas
The ones we've found, the ones shot down
And all brilliant the ideas yet to be discovered
I dedicate this page to listening, not simply hearing
I dedicate this page to seeing the world with open eyes
I dedicate this page to all those people who feel like they're
Just sitting there quietly in the corner while the world moves on
To those people who are talking when the world doesn't want to hear
To everyone who's taken the time, found someone with a story and listened
I dedicate this page to the problems that are not always acknowledged
And to the few individuals who make efforts to find their solutions
I dedicate this page to those who haven't yet given up
Even though everything seems hopeless, futile
I dedicate this page to the people
Who are treated like problems
Waiting to be fixed
When they're
Perfect
I dedicate this page to the truth. We'll know it someday
I dedicate this page to the solution and the people
Who come closer and closer to finding it
I dedicate this page to the people
Who didn't make it to today
And to those who did
You can do it
I dedicate this page to making it through
I dedicate this page to the tunnel
But also to the light
At the end
Friday, December 5, 2014
Farther and
Words slide past her, not sinking in somehow
It was here once, that magic that's gone now
What does it take, she asks to be someone
What is still left after everything's done?
One, two, three, four
Somebody worth waiting for
Five, six, seven, eight
Then the waiter waits no more
Where did it go, that happiness she had?
Minutes ago, but it's transformed to
No
One, two, three, four
Somebody worth waiting for
Five, six, seven, eight
Then the waiter waits no more
It will be fine, she promises her friends
But the pot of gold where the rainbow ends
The more you run, the farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and
One, two, three, four
Now the waiter waits no more
It was here once, that magic that's gone now
What does it take, she asks to be someone
What is still left after everything's done?
One, two, three, four
Somebody worth waiting for
Five, six, seven, eight
Then the waiter waits no more
Where did it go, that happiness she had?
Minutes ago, but it's transformed to
No
One, two, three, four
Somebody worth waiting for
Five, six, seven, eight
Then the waiter waits no more
It will be fine, she promises her friends
But the pot of gold where the rainbow ends
The more you run, the farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and
One, two, three, four
Now the waiter waits no more
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Drawing lines
I never wanted anything
More than the knowledge of who I am
And I wish I could tell you, but there are
Lines between me, myself and I
It's so easy, drawing lines...
And if they're broken, I will crumble
Running in circles, not saying a word
So many lines...
On and on...
Really don't want to be like this
Really don't want you to see me like this
You know I'm not enough
More than the knowledge of who I am
And I wish I could tell you, but there are
Lines between me, myself and I
It's so easy, drawing lines...
And if they're broken, I will crumble
Running in circles, not saying a word
So many lines...
On and on...
Really don't want to be like this
Really don't want you to see me like this
You know I'm not enough
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Rainbow is for all of you (also hi Lucy, I wanted to mention you here, but this poem is for everyone, so I didn't want to put it in the title, but it needs to go by the rainbow, so....yeah)
Red is for all the blood, that's for sure...
Orange is for the worldwide sunset
Yellow is for bananas
Green is for Charlie, the blade of grass
Blue is for mustaches
Purple is for carrots, and also Trip's hair
Black is for shadows
White is for light
There's been plenty of both here, plenty of both
I miss you
But all in all, I think I'm happy with my decision
Well, not happy so much as I think it was the right thing to do under the given circumstances
Much love,
Fabi
Orange is for the worldwide sunset
Yellow is for bananas
Green is for Charlie, the blade of grass
Blue is for mustaches
Purple is for carrots, and also Trip's hair
Black is for shadows
White is for light
There's been plenty of both here, plenty of both
I miss you
But all in all, I think I'm happy with my decision
Well, not happy so much as I think it was the right thing to do under the given circumstances
Much love,
Fabi
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