The Infamous Spider Story (originally by my sister)

So, I'm going to say 'I' a lot, and I'm retelling what she said, well mostly, and inserting little explain-y bits, like the fact that we have a hose box. That's important. Because, like, our garden hose rolls up, on this stick thing that rotates inside the box, like a paper towel dispenser or something. 

But anyway, yes. There is a hose-box, and that is where we keep the hose, and a lot of times there are bugs in there. Last time I checked, there were two snails. In this case, though, there are spiders.

So...

I went to the hose box, lifted the lid and saw a big, scary black spider. I backed up really really fast and it jumped over me, like a ninja. (keep in mind, my sister is nearly six feet tall) I still needed to get the hose out, so I went back to the hose-box, only this time, there was a little yellow spider. It crawled toward me kinda slowly, and it was, like, wandering off and getting distracted a bit, but I still needed to get the hose out, so I put it on a leaf and moved it to the garden, because it wouldn't be too happy if I started moving the hose out from under it. 

So then I went back to the hose box, lifted the lid again, and there was a brown spider, and it was...medium. It was medium-sized, and then it walked toward me at a medium speed and I backed up a medium amount. It climbed mediumly out of the medium hose-box and walked off at a medium speed. 

So then I went back again, lifted the lid, and there was an invisible gray spider (see, that works because gray describes what it looks like, invisible describes what it doesn't look like). I kinda backed up 'cause I was scared, 'cause I couldn't see the thing, and eventually it, too, got out of the hose-box...I presume. 

So I went back again, and this time, when I lifted the lid there was an orange spider. It didn't have a size. See, it had forgotten its size long ago (because it never went to school), and when it was out swimming, its size was eaten by a shark. (Of course, the spider itself survived and was in the hose-box, just size-less, but anyway it has no size now, and that's the important part). Soooooo... 

Then I went back again, wondering how many more spiders could there be in this thing? And I lifted the lid and saw... A gold spider. It didn't climb out of the box or jump at me because it was made of metal and couldn't move or talk. So, yeah. 

So then I just gave up because it wasn't moving because I didn't want to touch it because a spider, even though it was a metal spider that couldn't move or talk. So I just went over and got in the car because we had to leave, anyway. Where we were going, I'm not entirely sure. It was never quite defined. 

So then I heard this little scrapey sound, and I looked in the backseat, and there were all the spiders, including the one that was made of metal and couldn't move or talk. The black one must have dragged it in or something.

So I asked them what they were doing there, and the black one replied (in ninja-speak, which consisted mostly of silence and sideways glances) that they were there because they felt like it.

And then the gold one said nothing, because it was made of metal and couldn't move or talk.

And then the yellow one said in a high-pitched squeaky voice "It's funnnnn!"

So then Mom came over, and she was freaked out by all the spiders in the car, so she said she we were walking.

Only it was just me walking, because Mom got a phone call or something, that was never quite defined, but she wasn't there, at any rate. 

So I was walking and the spiders were walking behind me, single file, in order of size. Only since the orange one didn't have a size, it was flying above us because it can totally do that.

The big black one came first, dragging along the gold spider (which was made of metal and couldn't move or talk), then came the medium brown one at a medium pace, then the yellow one. I couldn't see the invisible gray spider, so I didn't know where in the line it was, but I knew that it was in the line and that it was gray. And that worked, like totally. It worked.

Now that we've got that settled, let's see.

So where I had stopped, there were these two flagpoles, one with the America flag, one with the Washington flag. 

Down from one of the flagpoles, and it was never quite defined which flagpole, came this blue spider. And it was bigger than the big black ninja spider, but smaller than the yellow one. And it had more of a size than the orange one. And it could move faster than the ninja spider, but slower than the gold spider that was made of metal and couldn't move or talk. And...yes. It was also impossible, did I mention that? But there it was, and all that nonsense described it perfectly!

And down from the other flagpole came this hoard (it was never quite defined how many) of red spiders. And it was never quite defined what size they were or how fast they were moving or how they spoke or what language. So then we all decided to go to the pool and swim. Because it's fun, and the pool was near the flagpoles. And it was a private pool, open only to the residents of a neighborhood, or they can pay to have guests. So the lady at the entrance was trying to determine if the spiders counted as residents, and at least one of the red spiders (it was never quite defined how many were talking) said that it hadn't quite been defined where they lived. And she was perplexed by that, and said "Whatever, weirdos. You can go in. Do you know the code?" (There is a code to open the door) And they said it had never quite been defined whether or not they knew the code, but I knew the code, so I opened the door and we all went in, the red spiders taking a length of time that was never quite defined.

And that's kinda the end of the story. My little sis is awesome!

Nightmares

I originally meant this to be a dream blog for recording what goes on inside my head at night. For the most part, that hasn't really worked, but these came from nightmares...

She stands there on the shore as the tide comes in, waiting for it to envelop her in endless darkness. The cliff behind her is too steep, she can't climb it, so she stands, braces herself for each wave, like bladed water, sharp and strong to splash salt in her face. She gasps desperately for air, catching a pocket of precious oxygen and using it to scream. It echoes far, but no one hears her shriek in time. The slick rock behind her stands as solid as before, unyielding to her cries. She desperately scrabbles at it, as if she hadn't tried. She's been here hours, and her throat is dry from thirst, the ocean invitng her to drink deep and die, drown. She resists as long as she can, tries to tread water, but  her muscles are weary and the current never tires. It tosses her against the rocks and she can hear her bones crack, but not feel them. Everything is blurred, both sight and touch, like a distorted reflection, something unreal. So this is what it's like to die. She takes one last look upwards before going under, almost completely numb now. Maybe it's better that way. Above her on the cliff, a face stares down in horror. Someone she hadn't wanted to hurt. "I'm sorry," she tries to say, but opening her mouth is only a door for the salt water to come in. Black fuzzy spots fill her vision and she gives in.

*********

And I changed my mind. That's the only one I'm sharing.

My latest video ded

It's kinda unimpressive for three whole days working on it, but hopefully you'll like it anyway. :-)

My longest and probably best non-video ded

[originally posted as several comments]

To me, perfect is people who make the world around them better, making others feel better about themselves, making communities like this happy and fun and somewhere I never want to leave. Every single one of you contributes to this wonderful place we know as Blogland, fitting my definition of perfect. I dedicate this page to all of you: Bloglandians past, who helped make Blogland the awesome place it is, who helped shape it, even if I haven't actually met most of them; Bloglandians present, who make me want to come here, and keep coming back; Bloglandians future, who will also be a part of this amazing community, I look forward to meeting you if I'm still around then. [hugs everyone] Each of you has contributed so much to this marvelous place, you're all perfect, okay? You turn smiles into grins, crying into laughter, dark days into brighter. You all make me feel better about myself, you all make others happy, you're all perfect, the way I see it.

Mara, you've made me smile and laugh at unexpected times, simply because I walked past a One Direction toothbrush in the store. I'm kind of eh about 1D, I prefer more classical voice/new age/folk music type stuff (in general, that is. LM is the obvious exception, and there are others), but when you come onto Blogland, so excited about something to do with 1D, it's contagious, it makes me happy and excited, too. Besides that, you created ARCK, and yesterday you sent out the email, telling us all that we're perfect. You've contributed much to this wonderful place simply by being here, and in my opinion, that makes you perfect.

[sings] You are perfect, to me.

[sounds like a frog]

Oh, by the way, I also dedicate this page to the art of not being sick. [nods]

Lucy, you're also perfect. You have a habit of making me feel better when I'm upset, and you're almost always there to help bring Bloglandians back together when they're falling apart. When you left for a while, it was really...strange. Not good strange, sort of empty strange. Oh, by the way, I'm working on a rainbow art project, it reminds me of you and Skittles. :-) I'll send you a picture when it's done. Back to the point, you're perfect, and you've helped not only me, but other people.

Em, I know you feel like you haven't done much lately, but every time Death or Mara or someone else was feeling upset, ready to leave Blogland, even ready to die, you prevented that, when the rest of us were helpless. You've held this place together, even when you were being torn apart by Chase's death. You're stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for. I wish you the best of luck with Dublin Daes, and the Blogland in Minecraft is really cool so far.

Chase, I didn't know you, didn't even really talk to you, but I do know that all of Blogland was affected by your death, or simply by hearing your and Em's story. Even though you're no longer with us, you're still indirectly bringing Blogland together with the #ChaseForBook9 tag, and you meant a lot to the people who knew you. Even though I didn't, I still feel I can say that you're perfect, and I'm sure that the Bloglandians who met you agree.

Death, I know your life has been far less than perfect but you aren't. I'm really sorry about your uncle, and your classmates failing to recognize your awesomeness, and the fact that your sister has drifted away from you. I really hope you find a light among all those shadows soon. You're really awesome, even if you deny it. I really enjoyed staying up late talking to you about the pizza on a stick (space needle!), Loreena McKennitt, and all that general crazy/evil stuff.

Jubi, you're crazy, insane and pretty 04012324 AWESOME. You were one of my first friends in Blogland, and whenever you come on, I always end up smiling/laughing/doing something weird/all of the above. It's been ridiculously fun being dinosaurs with you, singing TMBG songs, composing those sugar-high candy pirate poems, anything involving Clemy, and annoying Coco.

Ari, you're amazing. Your MC chapters are just WOW, including the ones I loved/hated, and you've been really inspirational. When you come on as Croatoan, it's fun, especially Blogland Truth or Dare with the evil mass-murderer/psychopath. You're not just awesome as Coco, though, Ari is wonderful and inspirational and very good at helping people.

Star, you're so awesome! You're very random and fun and I enjoy talking to you. Also, you inspired the whole name-project idea. And Hunter and Ez are really cool.

Ieni, you are very much a Ninja Aeroplane. You're just awesome and more awesome and more awesome! Also, you're nice and very Ieni-like. I don't think there's Ienibody else quite like you, you're just so...YOU! And you're PERFECTANDAWESOMEANDAMAZINGANDREALLYGREAT.

Arra, I keep forgetting you're pretty new around here, you're just so...Blogland-y, always hugging, offering desserts (in your case, brownies, and being so11331403211024 AWESOME!

Ember, you rock. It's been awesome being on your team, whether the team is the news organization, MAHU, or the revolution thing you randomly recruited me for in the MC. You're really awesome, okay?

[Sorry these are getting shorter, I'm starting to get really tired and I haven't even done half the awesome people yet!]

TO BE CONTINUED

Zaf, you're really... [uses a word that isn't "awesome"] Incredible. You rock, and you're another Ameriminion, and I hope Derek doesn't kill you off in Book 8.

Taia, you're amazing. Okay, for starters, "Taiaceratops" is really clever. I don't think I mentioned it at the time, but it is! Also, you're really nice to everyone, and amazing and wonderful and oh, dear, I have "Istanbul" stuck in my head.... No, Constantinople, now it's Istanbul, not Constantinope, been a long time gone, Constantinople, why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks'!
...sorry, I got a bit sidetracked there. Anyway, you're fantastic! And I used the internet thesaurus and didn't mention you being awesome once! :-P

Also to Missy, you're awesome, crazy and definitely a ninja! [nods] Oh, wait, I used awesome. Gah! Well, replace awesome with epic or fabulous or fantabulous or fantasmariffic or something like that! They're all accurate! :-)

Okay, I am falling asleep now, so I also ded to Dau, Rhydian, Eden, Cali, Snow, Brad, Misti, Misty, Mist, Lav, Luna, Charisma, Kes, Skyril, [insert your name here] and everyone I'm forgetting to mention by name (so sorry! It's becauee I'm falling asleep, not because you're anything less than perfect!)

Also to Mycroft and his Umbrella, #ChaseForBook9, One Direction, Little Mix, and other awesome stuff/people.

*adds Adra, Ruá, Tyler, Saph and Seph to the ded.

And Mel and NJ and B-J and Flora and Val V. and Kallista and anyone who comes on later can add in the people who I'm still forgetting

[goes back to sleep]

#ChaseForBook9