The Infamous Spider Story (originally by my sister)

So, I'm going to say 'I' a lot, and I'm retelling what she said, well mostly, and inserting little explain-y bits, like the fact that we have a hose box. That's important. Because, like, our garden hose rolls up, on this stick thing that rotates inside the box, like a paper towel dispenser or something. 

But anyway, yes. There is a hose-box, and that is where we keep the hose, and a lot of times there are bugs in there. Last time I checked, there were two snails. In this case, though, there are spiders.

So...

I went to the hose box, lifted the lid and saw a big, scary black spider. I backed up really really fast and it jumped over me, like a ninja. (keep in mind, my sister is nearly six feet tall) I still needed to get the hose out, so I went back to the hose-box, only this time, there was a little yellow spider. It crawled toward me kinda slowly, and it was, like, wandering off and getting distracted a bit, but I still needed to get the hose out, so I put it on a leaf and moved it to the garden, because it wouldn't be too happy if I started moving the hose out from under it. 

So then I went back to the hose box, lifted the lid again, and there was a brown spider, and it was...medium. It was medium-sized, and then it walked toward me at a medium speed and I backed up a medium amount. It climbed mediumly out of the medium hose-box and walked off at a medium speed. 

So then I went back again, lifted the lid, and there was an invisible gray spider (see, that works because gray describes what it looks like, invisible describes what it doesn't look like). I kinda backed up 'cause I was scared, 'cause I couldn't see the thing, and eventually it, too, got out of the hose-box...I presume. 

So I went back again, and this time, when I lifted the lid there was an orange spider. It didn't have a size. See, it had forgotten its size long ago (because it never went to school), and when it was out swimming, its size was eaten by a shark. (Of course, the spider itself survived and was in the hose-box, just size-less, but anyway it has no size now, and that's the important part). Soooooo... 

Then I went back again, wondering how many more spiders could there be in this thing? And I lifted the lid and saw... A gold spider. It didn't climb out of the box or jump at me because it was made of metal and couldn't move or talk. So, yeah. 

So then I just gave up because it wasn't moving because I didn't want to touch it because a spider, even though it was a metal spider that couldn't move or talk. So I just went over and got in the car because we had to leave, anyway. Where we were going, I'm not entirely sure. It was never quite defined. 

So then I heard this little scrapey sound, and I looked in the backseat, and there were all the spiders, including the one that was made of metal and couldn't move or talk. The black one must have dragged it in or something.

So I asked them what they were doing there, and the black one replied (in ninja-speak, which consisted mostly of silence and sideways glances) that they were there because they felt like it.

And then the gold one said nothing, because it was made of metal and couldn't move or talk.

And then the yellow one said in a high-pitched squeaky voice "It's funnnnn!"

So then Mom came over, and she was freaked out by all the spiders in the car, so she said she we were walking.

Only it was just me walking, because Mom got a phone call or something, that was never quite defined, but she wasn't there, at any rate. 

So I was walking and the spiders were walking behind me, single file, in order of size. Only since the orange one didn't have a size, it was flying above us because it can totally do that.

The big black one came first, dragging along the gold spider (which was made of metal and couldn't move or talk), then came the medium brown one at a medium pace, then the yellow one. I couldn't see the invisible gray spider, so I didn't know where in the line it was, but I knew that it was in the line and that it was gray. And that worked, like totally. It worked.

Now that we've got that settled, let's see.

So where I had stopped, there were these two flagpoles, one with the America flag, one with the Washington flag. 

Down from one of the flagpoles, and it was never quite defined which flagpole, came this blue spider. And it was bigger than the big black ninja spider, but smaller than the yellow one. And it had more of a size than the orange one. And it could move faster than the ninja spider, but slower than the gold spider that was made of metal and couldn't move or talk. And...yes. It was also impossible, did I mention that? But there it was, and all that nonsense described it perfectly!

And down from the other flagpole came this hoard (it was never quite defined how many) of red spiders. And it was never quite defined what size they were or how fast they were moving or how they spoke or what language. So then we all decided to go to the pool and swim. Because it's fun, and the pool was near the flagpoles. And it was a private pool, open only to the residents of a neighborhood, or they can pay to have guests. So the lady at the entrance was trying to determine if the spiders counted as residents, and at least one of the red spiders (it was never quite defined how many were talking) said that it hadn't quite been defined where they lived. And she was perplexed by that, and said "Whatever, weirdos. You can go in. Do you know the code?" (There is a code to open the door) And they said it had never quite been defined whether or not they knew the code, but I knew the code, so I opened the door and we all went in, the red spiders taking a length of time that was never quite defined.

And that's kinda the end of the story. My little sis is awesome!